Josh shared a link on Facebook Why Men Can't Have It All; with a comment that went...
"Many men buy into this mentality or stereotype without thought, and assume that they are not good caregivers, that not much is expected from them as fathers, that they are bumbling fools when it comes to family."
Just wondering how many women (even those who are educated, earning and, apparently, more emancipated) would be fine with the idea of a stay-at-home husband who prefers to be with his children.
I was reading about Mary Kom and responded with a link... As women's boxing joins the Olympics, Rahul Bhattacharya profiles the phenomenal Mary Kom—five-times world champion and mother of two—who has had to battle against far more than just her opponents in the ring...
This article about Mary Kom is an interesting 'proof' about the silent man behind a successful woman. Also how a woman CAN succeed... Even after becoming a mother...
As usual, I thought that I was supporting the cause till I was told
Ignatius, this is not about a 'silent' partner (man or womam) behind a 'successful' one. This is about men and women both believing in stereotypes rather than themselves. And that women can succeed despite having children is no longer a debate.
So I responded...
Jasodhara, :) interesting deja vu of you scything down points like you would like in a debating competition :D
I realized that you were focussed on the woman's perspective while I was thinking about the man's...
Allow me to qualify my statement... being a silent partner does not mean 'not believing' ... Perhaps, the silence is proof of a greater belief and strength, especially since the traditional stereo type is supposed to do otherwise.
How many men do you ever see voicing a positive stance in any of such 'discussions'?
Perhaps you did not consider that I was trying to reinforce your comment about women (and men) being unaccepting about men as primary care givers and yes, adhering to stereotypes... The article is about an exception that proves the accepted rule...
It is a clearly demarcated category... Read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stay-at-home_dad
Also read http://www.callister.co.nz/fathers-as-primary-caregivers.pdf and about the societal back lash about gender role reversal
Even books like "Do Men Mother?: Fathering, Care, and Domestic Responsibility (Andrea Doucet)" (relevant excerpt at http://goo.gl/1wdF5 )
reinforce what is commonly shown in media--If men are primary care givers, then they are:
1. Losers (lost a job because of an economic downturn, wannabe writers..etc. *always* with a superbly successful )
2. Eased/dropped into the role as a passing phase (e.g. Kramer VS Kramer, Chachi 420 etc.)
3. Forced into the role (single parenthood etc. "In the Pursuit of Happyness")
The number of men who choose the role to actually help the woman have doubled over the last decade (read http://www.nwherald.com/2012/08/02/more-men-choosing-to-be-primary-caregivers-at-home/aeq343/)
Do read a few samples of men writing about being in the role... Most of them are defending their positions and choices (example... http://www.orble.com/myth-of-the-stay-at-home-dad/) ... and not celebrating it...
Review the second part of your reaction (successful mother...)... It is in context to the man helping the woman go ahead and succeed...
I cannot think of a movie or novel where the gender stereotype in such relationships has a positive note for the man (example Jack Forman & Julia's relationship in Michael Chrichton's 'Prey'). Women have it far easier (and better) in each such (fictional) situations...
If one were to answer your original question, the 'studies' seem to indicate (at least empirically) that you'd find more accepting women/moms in the west (Canada, Australlia, New Zealand, and US) than the East... Of course I would argue that the patriarchal tendency is equally strong in both cases...
