Friday, 26 October 2018

The Armchair Paradox



Heart-aches and realizations are wondrous murmurs. Unscheduled, variously encountered, and harbingers of change inevitable. 

Delicious and cloying is the inertia of rest. The warmth of the experience of a thousand languid mornings steeped like cats basking in the sun upon a tropical winter sunrise, seen from the cocoon of a sleep warmed duvet. 

Vicissitude by definition evokes those snooze button mashing reflexes. Memories ooze honey-esque to lull and dull every modicum, twinge, throb and instinct for inevitable, necessary transmutation.

The Bengali transcreation of আরামকেদারা (aaram kedara) for armchair and supine bliss is more apt than the English suggestion of mere support for the upper limbs in contrast. The trouble arises in getting off an aaram kedara. That it's wonderful? Undeniable!

So is slowly ripping a band-aid off, one hair pain twanging follicle at a time, from a progressing laceration.

Unarguably inevitable and essential. Maybe not so exhilarating. 

Just like shedding accumulated adipose, belongings, and task back-logs before a journey.

The first step that sparks of that journey of a million miles? Sweet chimera and delusion. It's rather unfashionable to dwell on the killing urge to sit right back. Straight after that step.

My landlord of the last eight years and I spoke of the chasm between the thought of change and the perspective of the hard deadline and it's sting of inevitability. In his acceptance into priesthood from laity he opined in wisdom, "...what if the armchair is just not there after I get off it?"

Thursday, 26 May 2016

Epiphanies by the Arabian Sea...

A curious sense of peace tendrils like burnt cordite into nostrils once the coin drops into place. 
Clarity is not startling. It is something tinged heaviness of heart. 
Soul stirring like a rasping Adele wafting around inside the cranium while the legs rhythm out a tattoo on the sea link. 
The old man running by bare foot with the timing  chip tied to his leg etched in my brain. Nothing but a smile can warm the face to the cheers of everyone around for the man. Perhaps, that is when the consciousness stops nagging doubts about completing some freaky 22 kilometers. Blurring reasons about why. 
Is the heart's desire impossible? 
A whole world is still alive... Awake... Waiting

[Written - 03/03/2012]

And smile I did...


42.195km was never a figment of my imagination. On 19 Jan '13 I etched this traversement into my being. The trigger perhaps was when I paused in wonderment on a cold January morning two years ago when that old and frail gentleman moved briskly towards the sea link that I had exhilarated at crossing minutes ago. He had the timing chip tied with a black string around his ankle. Faded, yellowing, white baniyan and an equivalent white shorts framed the bare feet in motion. His smile was a fleeting moment wafting by...
Worli and the runners of half his distance raised raised a cheer and the moment passed into my eternity. Respect. I was a few days away from 35 years of existence. 
I've just wogged his distance and then read today of Walt Whitman...

I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin,
Hoping to cease not till death.

Wogging is my parlance of 'walking and sometimes jogging' ... For 6 hours and 35 minutes upon a whim. Emily Dickinson has an apt way of summarizing the experience...
PAIN has an element of blank;
It cannot recollect
When it began, or if there were
A day when it was not.
I smiled at the Sunday morning along the way. Glee, cheer, and encouragement beamed back from the people along the way who clapped, offered biscuits and handed out refreshments and beaming countenances. Policemen and women beamed and cheered us on. Old women and young kids ran alongside cheering while I oscillated between the start and end. I started smiling somewhere along my second half marathon. Things got so much better after that...
The Mumbai marathon route feels like a moebius band. You start and end at VT (or CST). Quite magical in between the that sun peeks up over the city on the right and the moon that simultaneously shines bright on the left over the queens necklace and the breezy Arabian sea.
The day gets on with the business of getting hotter around the halfway mark of reclamation. The African runners gazelle by preceded by a meandering BMW holding up a board proclaiming their (ridiculous) timing like a nubile clad lass between boxing rounds and my muscles decide that the owner is definitely daft and start choking on all the random lactic acid in them. 
Not good.
Worli and the sea-face brings the India elite runners and the occasional weeping women elite runner, sitting at the edges of the event hanging their head perhaps in disbelief and the prostrating grief of failure. Each kilometer seems bloody too long by now. Shivaji Park never seems to get over and the sun now has me squinting between furrowing eyebrows at the meandering route that seems to want me to go back home. And sleep. 
It is encouraging to know that I am not alone as others endeavour along side ...


It takes a certain kind of lunacy to think of running a full marathon, it's a completely different kind of fervid madness completing the darned thing. Especially if you haven't really trained for it and have never done anything red oddly   


23 Jan 2014

Shimla...

I met Shimla after penetrating darkness, and clouds that I mistook for fog, in a Himachal state transport bus. It seemed like yet another two horse town with pandering hotel touts and alarmingly only vegetarian momos.

That night poured its guts out to wash into a morning where the veil of clouds lifted to reveal a façade of human greed for habitation thrown like acid on a mountain's face. The British apparently built a summer capital called Shimla to grow up to a healthy twenty-five odd thousand as population in its middle age. Fast food and obesity was not a rage then. Now, the main city of Shimla crams in more than, a reported, 2.5 lakhs and then tops it up with a teeming infestation of tourists during 'season'. Sweet!

The population obesity muffin tops and spills over the mountainsides to places like 'New Shimla' and other inevitable additions. From a distance, my first morning in Shimla, smelt crisp and clean as a sun dried bedsheet after the Mumbai air. Then, Shimla 2.0 showed up like a scab on bruised mountainsides.

Imagine a seven layered wedding cake--with the layers kept up on tooth picks. That, is a building perched in 'new' Shimla. A night of torrential mountain rain gave way to a morning of soil gouged mountains. The inhabitants of my guest house excited thronged the balcony to speculate whether the alarmingly tilting building on the mountainside would topple and exterminate the inhabitants. The inhabitants of the afflicted construct in turn all gathered together, and unlike rational mortals, craned over the tilting edge to peer at the underside of their building. Underside? No really! Somebody wanted to build some more. So, the vegetation and pine trees holding the mountain surface around (translated to 'below' in mountain parlance) the building was cleared. The rain thought "Whee!" and pissed down and washed the soil away. Tada! Precarious building.
   
An army of people were clambering around in the disintegrating soil shovelling the draining soil one shovel at a time while others were draping livid blue tarpauline in fervent hope of denying the rain gods glee.

Ask someone and the response comes pat... Shimla has Mall Road. And assorted temples. A very sharp transition from British architecture to concrete invocations to a pantheon of gods and goddesses atop mountains. The local patois pronounces Mall Road as Maal Road. The ironic realization hit me when I first paid a tenner to ride an elevator to the roughly kilometre long stretch that sells and displays 'maal' of every hue colour and description in rows of shops. The trade then cascades down to Lakkar Bazar and Lower Bazaar that makes the cynosure of trading in the city. 

Shimla is a prime example of an opportunity lost for telling a story. The railway station lists the 'points of interest with a distance next to it like a take-away menu card has prices sans descriptions. I asked the gentleman at the Mall Road tourist office why the Scandal Point is called so and received repeated directions to it and exhortations to read the plaque there.

Yet, Shimla discovered on foot and experienced in contemplations the version I will recall.

The Clouds...
Stay long enough and the clouds you seen in the distance will come sniffing at you like a dog sniffing you awake on a cold morning. The warm sunshine snuffed for a while, the clouds will envelope you in a dampish cold steamish embrace... Once done sniffing, they will move away or even aerosol you a little before losing interest in you and moving away. The clouds make some of the most surreal lightscapes I have seen outside of an aircraft flying thousands of feet aloft. Travelling between Solan and Shimla, the sunsets are breathtaking with the clouds swirling around an orange orb. Edward Munch made ice cream in the sky with a swirling cloud strokes that swirled a palette from orange and magenta to lilac, purple, and mid night blue to bring in the evening. The clouds play peek-a-boo with our solar lantern and glow edge of the hills to fire with a brooding grey on top. Then night comes, the cloud curtain  draws back to show the sky ablaze with a billion stars on an inky blue-black night. 

The Flora and the rocks...
It is in the space between habitation that Himachal comes into its own. I experienced Himachal in a cusp of seasons as the rains furied, then abated leaving behind soft sunshine before the roll on to winter starts. Left alone, the conifers tower on either side of the black tarmac ribbon. The deodars reach out to the skies and make the sunshine glimmer in your eye. The creepers cascade down the boughs of the tallest trees like a cataract frozen as leaves. The cheel sprouts a livid young bottle brush green covering the mountainside. The sunshine spurts out in fingers of god through a cloud filigree to paint the rolling green landscape in light and shade. 
Little wild flowers sparkle pink, orange, red, yellow, lilac, indigo, and white like stars on earth through the fern fronds, grass, and green carpet shivering in the mountain breeze.  

Monday, 3 November 2014

When Shelly met Coldplay

A gazillion stars wept and splattered their dying tears across a cloudless sky in vain. The Queen's necklace Arabian sea lapped fetid around the feckless concrete tetrapods


Chris Martin crooned
'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars
I'm gonna give you my heart
'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars
'Cause you light up the path

I don't care, go on and tear me apart
I don't care if you do, ooh
'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars
I think I saw you

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars
I wanna die in your arms
'Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark
I'm gonna give you my heart


3 Nov 2014

Friday, 26 September 2014

Orange Eye Flights

Orange... The colour of flight... Departure... The colour of the orb driving the blue black from  the horizon into grey and blue as the tears of slumber interrupted dry upon the flight dessicated cornea.

The orange luminance  calmly stares back through the journey acned port hole panes. A sea of cotton  candy clouds mist and shroud the morn and mocks the sleep left behind, cools the purring affection of the warm pools of kittens left behind with slumber on pillows that smell home . 

Early morning orange eye business flights. The orange orb eyeballs the reddened eyeballs peering at the rising warmth. Slumber denied, the eyes that look, feel straight out of a chlorinated pool. Only the body around eyeball is unrefreshed and the soul unquenched.

Day over, business done, the orange dribbles  zip away on the tarmac as flesh and bone urges aviation fuel enflamed metal to fight. The halogen orange that pools amongst the darkness of the moments before leaving a city cohabitated for hours for business. 

The twinkling arteries of a city throbbing and pulsating with traffic. Contrasted by the Swarovski crystal bits of whites of habitation spied upon from the vantage of flight.

Habitation congealed instinctively together among the depths of darkness leading back home, the sighting of life many leagues below an airborne diving bell. The strength of a city laid out hollow man orange arteries and veins, nude and undressed beneath a microscope. Metropolises throb thick.bustling with traffic engorged roadways and petre off to outskirts where the traffic blood flow is scant and the orange of the highway illumination is spread further. The darkness is quick to dart betwixt the orange,  to reveal the lack of life flow. Orange arterioles over swathes of dark seas that cognition matches from repeated traversing. The yellowing orange of a coastline murmuring to the relentless brine. The brine knows the unseen horizon, now blind, waiting for the orange to scimitar it back, at orange eye flights ferrying reddened eyeballs.

Monday, 16 June 2014

The Fat Lady's Swansong

They say that is not over till the fat lady sings. Summer's fat lady's aria has plumped the mangoes sweetened the litchis like dew drops of nectar and enveloped us in her rather warm swansong of heat and beads of sweat. We sweat, we hope, we sigh, we chafe, and breathe the heavy stupor pushed at us by the swirling ceiling fans. We walk the dingy Mumbai sea line and thrust our necks like dogs from a car window at few the gusts across the blackish brackish swill as the city curls its lips and curves a halogen orange twinkle at the corners at the end of the Queen's Necklace. ATMs for free and Cafes in exchange of money offer air-conditioned moments of futile weekend relief. The weekend, the summer, and the land's end are all slipping away in time while we honk and nudge like lemmings to check out the waves through darkness.

Monsoon is waiting in the wings and has sent a sprinkle of little initial relief and and her Midsummer-esque fairy seems to say

'I must go seek some dewdrops here,
And hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.
Farewell, thou lob of spirits; I'll be gone. 

Our Queen and all her elves come here anon.'

The waves await the high-tide and expectantly slap and gurgle with a fishy smell at some random rock and bits of concrete in at the Bandra promenade. Countless nameless couples get all affectionate at the turn of season and nuzzle and get selfies in place waiting to make it to the newsrags on a new day, ignoring the BMC exhortations warning against being idiots and tempting the sea to sweep them into its bosom at a surge, in exchange for some random indestructible plastic flotsam and jetsam they must've offered to the waves a while ago with the multitudes that eat and drink and litter like it's a basic excretory function.

It's a good time to be at Candies. It's past the discount hour and dark outside and smells of heat and not enough drizzle. The food is cheap. Cyril's generosity fills our bellies with more cookies, and chips and diced up cake bits than we have bought in our last couple of visits. 


(This was written as monsoon clouds were embracing Mumbai... Somehow, feelings granulated to words agreeing together are like a sigh that seeks conclusion ... Often not requited. Lying in the draft box, a revisitation evokes something within akin to a hint of wistful fragrance. 
Uncaged it is now, to be all without...)